Love Isn't Blind—It Can't Shield Asian Men From Stereotypes Either

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The Evolution of Love is Blind and the Challenges of Identity

Netflix’s Love is Blind has reached its ninth season, with the reunion episode released recently. As the show continues to evolve, its premise appears to be on less solid ground than ever before. Initially, contestants were driven by a desire to be known for their hearts rather than superficial traits. At its best, the show allowed people to connect without the influence of external factors, especially when traditional dating preferences had not worked out.

The format of the show creates an environment where emotional connections can flourish. Contestants are separated into pods, where they can only communicate through a wall. This setup removes distractions like physical appearance and outside opinions, allowing for more vulnerable and honest conversations. For some, this provides an opportunity to discuss deeper topics such as race, identity, and family values. These discussions often reveal what a life together could look like.

However, the show also has its downsides. It can reinforce stereotypes and highlight the challenges of finding someone who truly loves you for who you are. Viewers only see a limited portion of the pods, where contestants have 10 days to date each other and potentially get engaged based solely on their conversations. Four weeks later, those who make it to the wedding stage arrive at their wedding date.

In recent seasons, the pod episodes have taken up more than half of the show's runtime, offering insight into the dynamics of couples who become engaged and those who come close but don’t quite make it. Season nine is centered in Denver, a city where many contestants express frustration with the local dating scene and hope that the show will offer a different experience.

A Unique Perspective on Dating and Identity

Among the contestants in season nine is Patrick Suzuki, a construction manager from a predominantly white city. He shares his struggles as an Asian man in Denver, where he feels it is difficult to find love. His family immigrated from Cambodia, and he was the first in his family to graduate from college. He expresses a desire to be loved for exactly who he is, a fear supported by studies on dating apps like Tinder. These studies suggest that Asian men and Black women receive fewer swipes right compared to others.

Research from OKCupid confirmed similar findings, with non-Asian women rating Asian men lower than other men. These studies reflect Suzuki’s insecurities, particularly after being told he is “attractive for an Asian guy.” Despite his pride in his Chinese and Cambodian heritage, he still fears not being loved for who he is. This issue is not new; Chinese men have been underrepresented as romantically desirable in media, with few exceptions.

Discriminatory laws such as the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882 and the Geary Act of 1892 had long-lasting effects on the perception of Asian American men, even though these laws were eventually repealed.

Connecting Through Shared Experiences

Another contestant, Anna Yuan, a hairstylist, sought an emotionally mature partner who aligns with her values and cares about family. She shared that her parents wanted her to find a nice Chinese man, but many of the men she dated were not. As Yuan and Suzuki begin to connect in the pods, they bond over their shared experiences of immigration, the challenges of dating in Denver, and the fact that both typically date white people. Despite this, they seem open to their connection, which aligns with the show’s original premise.

As their time in the pods progresses, both Yuan and Suzuki express a desire to care for their aging parents. They also connect over the fact that they usually don’t date other Asian people but feel a spark with each other. Their relationship felt authentic and promising, especially given the rarity of Asian couples on the show.

Suzuki also dates Kacie McIntosh, another main connection in the pods. He shares his experiences growing up as the only Asian person in class, but only after McIntosh explicitly asks him about his ethnicity. Based on the editing, this seems to be a moment of hesitation for Suzuki, as he doesn’t want to be judged for his identity. In an interview, Suzuki revealed that he knew he wanted to talk about being Asian, especially with someone he might marry, and he wanted to ensure he did it “correctly.”

The Struggles of Vulnerability and Connection

Despite the potential for meaningful connections, the show also highlights the difficulties of vulnerability. In one instance, Suzuki enters the pods expecting to meet Yuan again, only to find she has left the experiment entirely without saying goodbye. In an interview, Yuan explained that she didn’t feel comfortable being so vulnerable on camera and was worried about how her family would react.

Suzuki ultimately proposes to McIntosh, but the relationship ends shortly after their first in-person meeting. McIntosh states that her attraction didn’t grow, and while she later clarifies that the bigger issue was feeling like a stranger, it’s clear that Suzuki felt unaccepted for who he is.

Season nine of Love is Blind has proven to be the least successful, ending with no marriages. The reunion will reveal where these couples stand today, and the hosts will likely ask, “Is love truly blind?” It’s hard to imagine building a lasting relationship without open conversations about identity, family, and belonging—especially when stereotypes continue to shape our sense of self.