College, Parent Facebook Groups, and the Perils of Overparenting
The Rise of College Parent Facebook Groups
Parents are increasingly turning to social media platforms like Facebook to connect with other families and seek advice as their children transition into college life. These groups, often titled something like “Clemson University - Parents & Families” or “NYU Class of 2026 Parents and Families,” have become hubs for information and support. From asking about course selection to finding a place to live, these forums provide a space where parents can share experiences and learn from others. However, not all the questions are seen as helpful. Some posts have sparked controversy, raising concerns about overparenting and the impact on students’ independence.
Common Questions and Concerns
Many of the discussions in these groups revolve around practical matters. Parents frequently ask where they can check their child’s grades, how to handle a student’s roommate issues, or what to do if a student is struggling academically. Others inquire about campus services such as health care, printing facilities, or even when graduation will take place. While some of these queries are straightforward, others reflect a deeper level of involvement that some experts believe could hinder a student's growth.
Julie Lythcott-Haims, former dean of freshmen at Stanford University and author of How to Raise an Adult, warns that some parents are stepping too far into their child’s academic and personal life. She explains that by taking control of tasks that students should handle themselves, parents may be depriving them of essential life experiences. “You're effectively occupying the student's lane and pushing your own student out of it,” she says.
The Role of Technology in Parenting
In today’s digital age, technology has made it easier for parents to stay connected with their children. This constant access has led to the creation of online communities where parents can find support and guidance. For those who didn’t attend college themselves or whose children are attending schools far from home, these groups can be invaluable. They offer a sense of camaraderie and shared experience, helping parents navigate the challenges of sending their kids off to college.
Tamara Wingerter, moderator of the “Parents of Class of 2025-Parenting Beyond The Nest” group, notes that many parents feel isolated during this transition. “If they feel like they're alone in something, they get a lot of people commenting like, ‘Hey, I'm going through the same thing,’” she says. Despite the benefits, however, some posts have drawn criticism from both parents and students.
Criticism and Satire
Some of the more extreme examples of parental involvement have been mocked online, with satirical videos and groups poking fun at the over-the-top behavior. One TikTok comment read, “As a university employee, I cannot count the number of times parents insist on enabling their kids.” Another user said, “Somehow college morphed from a place of independence into an extension of high school.”
Students, too, have expressed frustration with the level of parental involvement. Halina Newland, a May 2025 graduate at Michigan State University, described some of the posts in her school’s parent group as “smothering.” She noted that while most students don’t hate these posts, they often find them embarrassing and intrusive.
The Trend of Overparenting
Lythcott-Haims sees these Facebook groups as part of a larger trend of overparenting. She points to behaviors that start early in childhood, such as monitoring every assignment, intervening in sports games, or resolving playground conflicts. With the rise of smartphones and GPS tracking, parents now have 24/7 access to their children, further blurring the lines between support and control.
Psychologists have coined terms like “bulldozer” and “snowplow” parents to describe those who go beyond traditional helicopter parenting by actively removing obstacles from their child’s path. This pattern of behavior can be difficult to change as children grow older. A 2019 poll found that nearly 76% of parents had reminded their adult children of deadlines, and 74% had made appointments for them.
How to Support College Students Without Overstepping
Lythcott-Haims believes that the key to successful parenting lies in allowing children to take ownership of their lives. She advises parents to listen to their child’s concerns but keep them in the driver’s seat. Instead of solving problems for them, parents should guide their children toward resources and help them develop problem-solving skills.
“We love you. We believe in you. You can tell us anything. We are a sounding board,” she says. “If you want advice, we're happy to give it, but we're not going to impose our advice without you asking. We're not going to swoop in and solve it, because we know you’ve got this.”
By striking a balance between support and independence, parents can help their children grow into confident, capable adults.
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