People Are Sharing The Moment They Realized They Were Dating A Total Moron, And It's Actually Hilarious
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We recently asked members of the Single SparkleCommunity to tell us the dumbest thing they ever heard their partner say. Here are the dumbest (and funniest) things they shared:
1. "My husband's ex once ordered the half-roasted chicken off a menu while they were out to dinner one night, but proceeded to ask the waiter that they ‘cook the chicken all the way rather than only halfway.’"
— sweetrockstar365
2. "My husband and I were actually taking a tour at my son’s new college, and the guide was talking about the Greek life on campus. I thought he was talking about real Greek people. I realized the mistake after I saw the look on my husband's face."
— clumsyshield673
3. "I had a girlfriend in high school who asked me how they knew which corner had gas in it. Most of the gas stations were on corners. She thought they drilled for gas and built the station because gas was on that corner!"
—Anonymous
4. "They said the wind is caused by the trees violently waving their leaves."
—Anonymous
5. "I had a boss who thought that the Arch in St. Louis was to honor McDonald’s. You know the Golden Arches. It was so hard not to laugh in her face."
—Anonymous
6. "I never realized how often I use the word adjacent until I dated a guy, 39 years old with a master’s degree, and I had to explain what adjacent meant every time I said it."
—Anonymous
7. "My ex, who was 28 at the time, was convinced that he was uncircumcised. I tried to explain to him that the foreskin covers the head and that he was, in fact, circumcised. He still didn’t believe me and decided to ask his mom. The look on her face when we made eye contact was priceless."
-Anonymous
8. "I dated a girl who was very attractive and who I thought was smart. Somehow, we got on the subject of military time. She just could not get the concept. After multiple explanations, I realized I could never have children with her."
—Anonymous
9. "My boyfriend at the time and I were driving somewhere when he happened to mention he lost his license and needed to get a replacement. When I asked him how he lost it, he replied, 'I put it in the ATM. I didn’t have my debit card, and when you go into the bank, you can just give them your ID to get cash out. I thought you could do the same with an atm machine.'”
—Anonymous
10. "My ex thought that evolution wasn’t real. Their proof was that 'My daddy ain’t a monkey.' I should've dumped them then and there."
—Anonymous
11. "My ex told me that Thanksgiving was on a Thursday again this year."
—Anonymous
12. "My ex’s stubble was really irritating the skin on my face, so I asked him to start shaving every day. After the second day, he complained about razor burn. I had not noticed that he did not have shaving cream and just assumed he used soap when he shaved. Nope. He had been dry-shaving his entire life. Not even water. When I finally asked why he thought they made shaving cream, his answer was that it was a conspiracy to sell shaving cream that I had fallen for."
—Anonymous
13. "He asked me how they decide where to put islands on maps since they're always moving around. He truly thought islands were not connected to the Earth and that they floated freely around the ocean, occasionally running around."
—Anonymous
14. "They thought the thyroid gland was located in the thigh. It took the word of a medical doctor to convince them it is actually located in the neck!"
—Anonymous
15. "She asked me, 'Where do fish go in the winter?' We live in northern Illinois. I guess she thought they migrate like birds."
—Anonymous
16. "When my husband saw a bumper sticker that said 'FREE TIBET,' he asked, 'What’s a tibet?'"
—Anonymous
17. "My ex refused to wash her hands after going to the bathroom because she claimed her fingers never touched the poop, only the TP did. Then she went straight to the kitchen to fix dinner. Goodbye!"
—Anonymous
18. "My ex received a small succulent plant from our realtor when we moved into the new house. About three months later, she was bragging to some guests about how well she was caring for it. They laughed when they realized she had been routinely watering an artificial plant. That stupidity was unfortunately only the tip of the iceberg!"
—Anonymous
19. "My ex thought Washington DC was in the state of Washington and had no idea what the first 13 colonies were. He said they didn't teach 'Geology' in Tucson."
—Anonymous
20. "My ex-girlfriend thought they would give writing materials, like books and pens, to new students at the university."
—Anonymous
21. "I told my ex that my big sister was pregnant and due to give birth in December. This was around November. So he asked me if my sister was currently 11 months pregnant. I told him to say that again slowly until he understood. He didn't. I had to tell him. What's ironic is that his mom is a midwife."
—Anonymous
22. "I invited my boyfriend, at the time, to come to my parents' house to have dinner. It was the first time I had invited a significant other over, and as we sat down to eat, he mused, out loud, that it was crazy how glasses leak water. He was referring to condensation. He thought the beads of water were leaking out of tiny pores in the glass. The whole table was just silent for a minute or so, not sure what to say."
—Anonymous
23. "He was shopping for car tires online and came across the metal rims without the rubber tires. He thought they were a new, sleek, and futuristic kind of tire and tried to insist on trying them out."
—Anonymous
24. And finally, "After we saw the movie The Martian , she said it was so amazing that someone could survive on Mars like that, and it made her proud of humanity. I was like…'.Wait, you know that’s fiction, right? Humans haven’t even been to Mars,' and she was shocked. She had read the book and seen the movie, thinking it was a 100% true story."
—Anonymous
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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